PSA: No-Bake Poop Cookies

WARNING: If you are in any way scandalized by the mention of poop, you may as well move on from this post now. I am a Nutritionist by profession, therefore am immune to any internal shiver at poop talk; in fact it is my professional mission to make sure you are eating at least 30g of fiber a day and pooping once a day at a minimum. I’m also a parent, which further qualifies me to discuss poop in depth. If that poops you out*, by all means go your merry way. Also, this has nearly nothing to do with essential oils, so if that annoys you feel free to peruse some of my other entries.

All that said…

If you hang out at my house for any length of time, you will in all likelihood, at some point, hear a small voice say, “Mama, may I have a poop cookie?” ohyesyouwill. And you will be slightly mortified but also somewhat intrigued because WHAT THE HECK IS A POOP COOKIE and PLEASE TELL ME IT ISN’T MADE OF POOP.

No. It isn’t. Poop cookies are named for their function, not their form or constituents. Their purpose: to make you poop after providing a delectable munching experience. That’s not to say they don’t resemble their namesake in a vague sort of way.

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I invented poop cookies** when my 4-year-old became somewhat, shall we say, backed up; causing a great deal of whining, grumpiness, and general household consternation***. Being four, she is immune to the charms of vegetables and doesn’t like smoothies (how it happened that I birthed a person who doesn’t like smoothies is beyond me). So you see I had to do something.  Poop cookies are a product of desperation.

Of course, they’re super healthy and full of fiber and good fat. Not to mention quick and easy to whip up:

  • 2 tbsp peanut butter (or other nut butter)
  • 2 tbsp ground flax
  • 1 tbsp chia seeds
  • 1 tbsp honey
  • 1/8 cup quick oats, plus 1/8 cup for rolling
  • 1-2 tbsp water (only if you think the dough seems too crumbly to form into balls)
  • a handful of raisins, chopped dried apricots, or dark chocolate chips

 

Mix all the ingredients well, then form the dough into about 6 balls and roll them in the remaining 1/8 cup of oats. Smash them slightly into a cookie shape. Refrigerate until the chia and flax absorb enough moisture and the balls hold together well.

If you’re grain-free, you can roll the balls in shredded coconut or chopped pecans instead of oats. If you’re nut-free you can use sunflower butter instead of peanut butter.  I also make a version of these out of my protein powder when I’m tired of drinking a protein shake – they make a nice healthy dessert treat.

Happy pooping,
Fran (2212460)

 

*see what I did there?
**I know, I know.  I prolly didn’t invent poop cookies. Probably a gazillion people have already invented poop cookies. I just didn’t know about them.
***Being avid users of essential oils, we also love to use DiGize essential oil blend in the case of any sort of intestinal issue including but not limited to mild constipation. It’s a great addition to your toolbox. But, there’s no substitute for dietary fiber and healthy food in promoting regularity and a healthy gastrointestinal tract. Hence, I give you poop cookies.

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